Profile of Victor Githinji Wambui
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Article on Key Principles for a Lasting and Fulfilling Relationship
Study and research have proven that lasting and fulfilling relationships affect individuals greatly. This may include lower rates of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, greater empathy, and more trusting and cooperative relationships. Healthy relationships are also credited with strengthening your immune system, helping you recover from disease, and may even lengthen your life. The conclusion is that inorder to live a happy life it is important to have good relationships with the people in your life. It may be your nuclear family unit, your significant other or even your friends, at the end of it all, good relations with these people will improve your life value. All healthy relationships need these four key pillars inorder for them to flourish.
These pillars are;
1. Commitment
2. Trust
3. Respect
4. Communication.
Let’s start with the first one
1. Commitment
Commitment is the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
Commitment comes in four forms.
a. Legal commitment: Here both the partners get specific rights and responsibilities, and if they want to get separated, they may need to go through legally valid process or legal process to get divorced.
b. Social commitment: This is whereby as a couple you play your social part in the growth of society. You may need to interact with each other’s families, and friends. If you have children, you take up parental responsibilities etc
c. Emotional and Support commitment:
Here you commit to address each other’s reasonable needs, which includes love, affection, care, concern, support. This involves being there for each other physically, mentally, emotionally, financially in good times and bad times, taking care of each other, sharing responsibilities etc.
It is also a commitment to not seek or offer this kind of support outside of the relationship that makes your partner uncomfortable or without your partner’s consent.
d. Sexual commitment: To address each other reasonable sexual needs and to commit not to look for sexual experiences outside the relationship, with your partner’s consent if you are in a monogamous relationship.
2. Trust
They say it takes years to build trust but a moment to break it and forever to rebuild. Trust also means keeping your words and promises, sticking to your commitments and taking action accordingly, not making false promises.
Being consistent with what you do and what you believe in. Most people think that, sharing partial information, withholding or telling small lies which in their opinion doesn’t hurt the other person etc doesn’t damage the relationship, but it does.
3. Respect
When you respect your partner, there is space for them to be who they are, to hold and express their opinions and preferences even if they are different from yours. That both of you know that you would consider each other choices, preferences, comfort levels, discuss with each other and arrive at a consensus for any significant decisions.
4. Communication
The damage to a relationship first shows up in this pillar as communication breaks down. In order for a relationship to be fulfilling every one needs to be heard and listened to. Both parties need to be able to communicate positively about how they appreciate each other and value each other. Couples also need to be able to have difficult communications (have a conflict) but still be able to convey their point of view to each other and understand each other with a common solution as the result. It is vital to take responsibility for one’s own actions and inactions and apologize if needed.
Once these four pillars are observed, it becomes easy to relate with each other. The fulfillment comes from being able to tackle every challenge together, whether it’s internal or external, what makes a team is how they treat each other when things are not going well. There will always be challenges in our relationships, let us choose to involve our partners and to value their input.
Sample article above.